Taken

Taken
way off track
off balance
Taken
far away
from the way
the path that was
laid out
Taken
wanting
needing
Taken
Take a picture
There...U've captured me
Can u see my soul?
Can U see the glow
around me when U are near?
Taken when
the voice is heard on the phone
Taken...
Will U ever give myself
back to me?
One moment, two
that's all it took
to be taken by U
And I know this is probably
infatuation
a reaction
to a chemical response
to U
I
am
addicted to the rush
of emotions
the picture show
that plays over again and again
with sound bites
of your voice
And I couldn't even tell u why
I feel this way
I'm not sure if I am on loan
to you temporarily
or, if I am owned
There is something so familiar
so comfortable
so easy
about this feeling
of being taken...
And for once
I don't know where I stand
and again and again
I don't care...
Take me

Copyright © 2005 Blackgold347

Re-Collecting Memory, Perseverance & Movement

Yesterday, I drove by my old house in Suitland, Maryland. The house that I was taken home to after my birth. The house my dad made his transition in on the Saturday after Good Friday 1997. I was surprised to see that it's still standing. I can't remember the last time I drove by it. It felt weird to go by the old neighborhood that holds so many memories...memories stored in my psyche. It felt good to be back in Suitland and Marlow Heights. Who are we without roots? How firmly are we planted without them? Who are we if we don't stay connected to where we've been? There was a time when I wanted to forget many things that happened in the past. Now, I don't mind. I have made peace with so much of what happened in my past. In fact, I need to remember to keep moving forward. I want to remember. I felt like a part of me that I let go of re-joining me as I drove down the street. I saw old neighbors in the yard socializing...doing what they have been doing since I was a child. I even saw my first babysitter getting into her car.

What do we do with memories? I've often heard others say "don't live in the past". And, we shouldn't because we miss out on the NOW. But we must take from the past that which we need to be FULLy present, FULLy alive. It's learning from our triumphs and mistakes. So much time and energy is spent reacting to something that happening 10, 15, 20 years ago. And for some reason we can't understand why we keep re-living it in the now. Let's try something new.

I often feel weird because I am always pushing myself beyond my comfort zone. It's the only way that I've gotten to where I am in my life. It's the reason why I bought a drum set at 34. Who the hell buys a drum set at 34? One said I'm living my youth. Why can't adventure be a part of getting older? Why must it only be associated with youth?

Energy has to keep moving. I can't stand still and become complacent with whatever life delivers to my doorstep. I have to create the reality that I want to see, feel and live. I want to play with my brother's band one day. It's always been my dream to be a drummer and now it's here. I'm not perfect at it. (I just started.) The interest, natural ability and passion are there. It has to get better with practice. That's exciting!

Who says life has to be this way or that way? Who besides ourselves tells us we can't or can do something? So, it's never been done before. Be the first. Or, take it (whatever it is) to a level it's never been before. If no one else does, believe in yourself. Even when everything around you looks like you can't, know that you can. But remember, faith without works is dead. You have to do something. It's not No Action Required! like the advertisements tell you so that they can get money from your inactivity. Action IS required.

I want to get the most out of this life right here on Earth. We have to persevere. As Soul II Soul says...

"Keep on moving
don't stop like the hands of time

Click clock
find your own way to stay

The time will come one day.
Why do people choose to live their live this way?

Keep on moving
don't stop
no
keep on moving

Keep on moving
keep on moving
don't stop
no

Keep on moving.

It's our time
time today
the right time is here to stay

Stay in my life
my life always
yellow is the colour of sunrays.
I hide myself from no one
I know the time will surely come when -
You'll be in my life
my life
my life always

yellow is the colour of sunrays.

Keep on moving
don't stop like the hands of time

Click clock
fing your own way to stay
the time will come one day.

Keep on moving
don't stop
no
keep on moving
...

I know the time
time today
walking alone in my own way

Extremely cold and rainy day
friends and I have fun along the way

Yes
we do! I hide myself from no one

I know the time will really come when -
You'll be in my life
my life always

yellow is the colour of sunrays.

Keep on moving
don't stop like the hands of time
...
Keep on moving
don't stop
no
keep on moving."

I think I'll go listen to that now! Peace, Love, & Light Always!

Astrology...an email I received

Dear BG,

Intense, intense, intense! From May 27 to June 2 we’ll all be under the influence of a T-square between Venus, Mars and Pluto, meaning everyone will be on their biggest, loopiest emotional roller coaster.

The T-square is a concentrated, dynamic three-planet combination. It's created when two planets -- in this case, Venus and Pluto -- form an opposition (think standoff), which is difficult enough. But this aspect is further complicated by a third planet, combative Mars, who will make a stressful square to the other two.

When Venus, the planet of love and emotions, and Mars, the planet of action and aggression, both meet up with powerful Pluto, the entire world can feel topsy-turvy. But your focus will be on interpersonal relationships. Who exactly is in control here anyway? Even the smallest issues (like what movie to see or what to have for dinner) can trigger major power struggles. Jealousy can raise its ugly green head, and sexual energy (shall we call it tension?) will run high.

The best way to deal with any challenges that come your way right now is to take lots of deep breaths, realize that everyone's affected by this astrological weather and know that it will soon pass. Keep in mind that minor events can trigger major upheavals; now is a time to tread carefully in your relationship. A Compatibility and Conflict Reading can help you understand how you and your sweetie will fare during difficult times like these. Try it now at 20% off and uncover the tips you need to smooth out the rough patches in your relationship -- and make the fun times even better!

Sincerely,

The Astrology.com Team

http://www.astrology.com
http://shop.astrology.com

It's one of those days/night where I wish that words poured out of me. But I don't know where they are hiding. maybe I'm blocking myself because there is something that I want to say, but it's not convenient to say, or maybe it's not convenient for me to let someone else hear me/see me say it.

There is always something on my mind. No, not a worry, but always something that's being contemplated. Sometimes I get a thought and chew on it the dogs do the plastic bones from the pet store. It doesn't have to be anything serious or major. It can be the thought of a person, or the thought of what I should have said when I was in this or that situation.

Life can be so wild sometimes, but we are expected to be so tamed. What if we broadcast on our foreheads what was actually going on in our minds? Would people be shocked or horrified at your thoughts? Sometimes I feel like a race horse is contained in my body. That feeling always lets me know that I have a lot of energy, and I need to so something with it. Sometimes it's cool just to be still and chill out. I find that hard sometimes. I seem to think that I'm missing out on something if I don't keep moving. I was the type of child that couldn't take a nap. I could never settle down long enough to get sleepy. I've only had a few naps as an adult. My sister and cousin would say, "I'm taking a nap", and actually do it. I couldn't do that. I always envied them for that. Like now...It's after 12 midnight and I'm too wired to go to bed.

I got in late because of class after work and hanging out with a girlfriend that needed to vent. It feels good being there for another person especially when you know they will and have done the same for you. You just know that that's what the person needs and you are there for them.

It's really important to be a friend to others. Every significant relationship has friendship at it's corner stone. Longevity, consistency...those things are important. Both require time. While instant friendship tastes good at the time, it's often short lived. I want friendships that are like fine wines...they get better as they age. It's hard to be spread out among so many palates. You hope that the wine can impress all who consume it in the same way. But it never does...Those who like, like. Those who don't, don't. You just hope that those who like keep coming back.

Be what you want to get out of your experiences. If you want friendship, be a friend.

Why are some people drawn to each other? Some times there is no immediate answer to that question. I don't know why some have impressed me the way that they do. Some people are like magnets, drawing everything and everyone near to them. Well, we are all pulling something to us, but we often don't realize that we pull and attract these things to us. Maybe we asked for it and forgot about what we asked for because we were off and running toward the next thing.

What am I running from? What am I running towards? Why do I feel like I'm standing still? Have you noticed that life seems perfect when we are in love? What if we could hold that feeling, not necessarily towards another person, but what if we could hold that feeling of bliss all the time? I sure would like to try.

I like green beans with hot sauce...they make life spicy. I haven't had any in a while.

Dream

"Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream"

Life is but a dream

Life is but a dream

Life is but a dream...My affirmation for today.

I went to bed to Oprah's Wildest Dreams and woke up to The Today Show's Live for Today...more dreams.

...Life is but a dream, not a nightmare...but a dream.

Dream...but don't stop there...Let's live our dream, Let's be our dreams.

Dream

Thinking In Absolutes
Thinking in absolutes limits us. The dichotomous thinking that many of us are plagued with prevents us from seeing all the colors of the spectrum. It prevents us from fully living and relating to others. Our eyes only see blacks and whites. We don't see any greens or blues or yellows or reds or pinks. Life isn't Either/Or. It's Both/And. For some it's like see it "my way or the highway". So often we speak of thinking outside of the box while we are constantly talking ourselves right back into the box.

Compliments
Give them. Tell someone something nice about themselves. It doesn't have to be major, but it should be genuine. So often we think nice things about people but we hold it and keep it to ourselves. Sometimes a compliment makes all the difference in the world. Children and Adults shine when they are complimented. If we all held back our compliments, we'd never hear anything good about ourselves. Don't assume that people know that they look nice, or are good at this or that. Sometimes the exterior is a front to cover what's really going on on the inside. We can look all put together on the outside but feel broken on the inside. Let's be as quick in our compliments as we are in our criticisms.

Telling The Truth
Make it a practice to never lie to yourself. Even if you don't share that truth with others, acknowledge it to yourself.

Habits
What are your habits? Are you acting consciously or unconsciously? Notice your habits and decide if you want to keep them or not. If you want to break a habit, start by believing that you have the power to do so And then work on it one day at a time. I've broken a few habits in my short life. I used to bite my finger nails down to nubbs. I bit them things so much my fingers hurt. When I decided to stop i would catch myself with my fingers in my mouth. I wasn't even conscious of it until my teeth were wrapped around my nails. Eventually it got to the point where I noticed when my hand was approaching my mouth and I'd stop there. I became more and more conscious of it until I no longer did it. We often act without thinking in minor and major ways. Think about your habits... How will we have dominion over the Earth and we don't have dominion over ourselves?

Laugh
...and Have fun, but not at the expense of others.

Be Blessed! Peace.

Questions

If you and I disagree on something, is one of us right and the other wrong? Can we both be right? Are we both wrong? How do we handle our disagreement? Does the answer change depending upon if you love me, or respect, or dislike me, or hate me?

The Dark Side

I just returned from seeing the new release of Star Wars. While I will not give anything away about the movie, I've been thinking about the "dark side". I believe that we are diunital...a union of opposites (Dr. Edwin Nichols, 1976, 1987). I believe that we all have a dark side, but we don't necessarily use it as our base of operations. I want to think more about my dark side and the characteristics that make it what it is. There are parts of myself that I am not so fond of. I don't hate those parts because I would be hating me, and if I am a union of opposites,...well that would be confusing. I want to be congruent in the messages I send myself. There's enough confusion to filter out and even more to block from entering the mind-field.

What is the dark side? Yoda says, "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Think about that. Think about what you are afraid of. Think of all of your daily thoughts that promote fear. How many of us live in fear each day?
How many of us speak out of a fear that we aren't even aware of? When we think about it, we don't have to look very far to find a situation where we spoke and/or acted to protect ourselves from others who may OR may not have been trying to hurt us. Perception is key.

Has the United States crossed over to the dark side? It seems that we have. Is President Bush and the machine that drives him Lord Vadar? I'm just writing the free thoughts as they flow...

Think about your "dark side". Is that the base of your operations today?

Scientists Say Sunshine May Prevent Cancer - Yahoo! News

Scientists Say Sunshine May Prevent Cancer - Yahoo! News: "By MARILYNN MARCHIONE, AP Medical Writer 1 hour, 33 minutes ago

Scientists are excited about a vitamin again. But unlike fads that sizzled and fizzled, the evidence this time is strong and keeps growing. If it bears out, it will challenge one of medicine's most fundamental beliefs: that people need to coat themselves with sunscreen whenever they're in the sun. Doing that may actually contribute to far more cancer deaths than it prevents, some researchers think.
ADVERTISEMENT

The vitamin is D, nicknamed the 'sunshine vitamin' because the skin makes it from ultraviolet rays. Sunscreen blocks its production, but dermatologists and health agencies have long preached that such lotions are needed to prevent skin cancer. Now some scientists are questioning that advice. The reason is that vitamin D increasingly seems important for preventing and even treating many types of cancer."

see link for entire article

Brian Greene Quotes

Brian Greene Quotes: "What is reality? We humans only have access to the internal experiences of perception and thought, so how can we be sure they truely reflect an external world?... the reality we observe... . may have little to do with the reality, if any, that's out there. Nevertheless, because observations are all we have, we take them seriously.
Brian Greene"

Intent, Congruence, Self-Love

Do you ever wonder what the intentions are of people who say mean things or try to provoke others to engage in verbal or physical sparing matches with them? What is it that they want? What is their purpose? What does it mean when they seek you out to antagonize you? Is it the way they've learned to navigate and negotiate their needs and wants?

Some don't want others to get close to them, and they use their mouths, their words to keep others at a distance. Some have not been spoken to respectfully and don't know what it's like to be respected and in turn respect others. Our parents and friends never always agree with us, but most of them have way of talking to us that keeps us knowing that we are loved by them whether we disagree or not. In cyberspace, we don't know each other. Our first impressions are made by the words we type and the energy they carry. While we do learn about people from the words they speak, we do not know them. We don't know of each others baggage.

To seek out another and to continually antagonize them online is offensive to me. Yes, even when it's not being done to me. There is nothing wrong with disagreement. A lot of learning and understanding comes out of disagreement. But when laced with insults nothing can be heard. That applies to any type of dialogue and communication with another. No one learns anything when we argue about who is RIGHT. No one is right or wrong about their opinions.

Do you want to be heard and understood? Or, do you simply want to push the buttons of another and recreate hostile situations you are most familiar and comfortable with? Our conditioning dictates how we interact with others. If you've been called a bag of nothings your whole life you might see that as normal. I was not raised that way. I have never truly known what is like to feel un-loved. Call me spoiled...But that has kept me knowing what I want and don't want in my space and my life. That fact has kept me from lingering in unhealthfull situations. That fact has allowed me to treat others the way I want to be treated...with love and respect. That does not mean that we will always agree. It means that I can disagree with you and both of us walk away we our love and respect for each other and ourselves intact.

What do you want? Is your communication and interaction with others getting you what you say you want? Is it closeness, acceptance? There must be congruence between what you say you want and how you go about getting it. Saying, "I love you, you dumb bastard" is incongruent. That's an extreme example but I'm sure that many have endure hearing "I love you" followed by words or actions that say the total opposite. It gets confusing. And if we don't recognize and acknowledge that it's confusing we start to communicate with others in that way as well. We say we want to be close but do everything to push another away.

Maybe your goal in life is to push others. Well, go find someone who wants to be pushed. Don't criticize me or anyone else because that's not the line we are standing in today.

Many do not love themselves and CANNOT extend that to others. Many do not respect themselves and CANNOT extend that to others. I choose daily whether or not I want to be bare the brunt of another's disrespect. I can do this because I know that I deserve the best of the best treatment. The creator did not make me to be abused. I am here to realize my power, which came from the Creator, and use it to serve that which I believe created me.

Act like the image and likeness you believe you were created in. It's more than just a line in a good book, but only if you believe it and know it to be true for you.

San Francisco Bay View - National Black Newspaper of the Year

San Francisco Bay View - National Black Newspaper of the Year: "Malcolm X : Foster child to revolutionary

by Andrea Lewis
Malcolm X, 1925-1965

Forty years after his murder, and 90 years after his May 19 birthday, the name Malcolm X still evokes a vast range of emotions.

In spite of his status as a cultural icon – thanks in large part to Spike Lee’s 1992 biopic – and as one of the most important leaders in Black history, Malcolm is still viewed by many as a man who preached hate, evoked fear and scared white folks.

Middle America had a much harder time digesting the percussive attack of Malcolm’s Black nationalist rhetoric compared to the melodious, nonviolent flow of the Rev. Martin Luther King’s oratory.

Malcolm X was fiery, charismatic and brilliant and, most important, a symbol of the power of transformation."

Today a school bus backed into my car. I was trying to back up that it would not hit me, but I could only think of sounding the horn and rushing to back up without looking, in case someone was behind me. I felt like I froze up. Like I could have prevented it, but my body couldn't process everything that it needed to process without potentially causing another accident. My mood changed as soon as I heard the metal from the school bus folding the metal hood of my car. The driver never acknowledged that she had hit the car. She simply proceeded to park the bus. I realized that the only reason she stopped when she did was because she had backed up as far as she wanted to. Thank goodness she didn't need to go any further. My bumber might have been in my lap.

I usually try to shake the small things. The damage isn't that bad. But it is damaged. It's more of an inconvenience. But it could be worse. And it was what it was....a huge school bus moving toward me and I couldn't stop it. I'm thankfull it wasn't worser.

When we set out on our journey in the morning, we never factor in some of the things that happen to us throughout our day. The flat tires or died batteries that great us when we get to our cars. We never consider the telephone call that someone received informing them that a loved one is sick or dead or needs an operation immediately.

Now, I'm not totally bent out of shape like the hood of my car is. I am thinking about the incident though. I am thinking about how my mood changed after it happened. I wasn't way up high in mood, but I felt when it descending a little after the incident. I wasn't angry at the driver who said that might have been able to see me if my car was red and that she heard the horn blowing but kept backing up. I was a little ticked that she was oblivious to the whole situation that she was involved in. She was simply backing up; being courteous to another bus driver to let him pass by. After an hour and a half of sorting things out with her supervisor and the police, her last words, after I learned that I might have been spared the car damage if I had a red car, were "I'm sorry".

I'm thankfull that I'm not on the receiving end of tragic news. I'm thankfull that I'm okay. I'm thankfull that I have insurance to cover my needs. I'm thankfull that I could leave work early when I didn't feel like trying to convince myself to refocus my mind to write a report. I'm thankfull that all I want right now is to be still.

Change, Purpose, Personal Power

Change is inevitable. It's gonna come no matter how much we resist it. If you don't believe me look in the mirror. Yes, people tell you that you haven't changed a bit. But you have in some way no matter how small, you've changed. People, times and circumstances around us change. Our minds change, our hearts change. We fall in and out of love. SOmetimes it's hard and sometimes it's relatively easy.

I am struck by many who hold on desperately to things, ideas, people, etc. I am struck by victimology. I am struck by the boot strappers...you know those who have pulled themselves and their lives together without any help or assistance from others. Where is the balance in life? Where is the purpose in our lives? Where are we moving to? What are our goals? I cringe when I hear, read and see people in emotionally and physically harmfull situations. I cringe when I hear someone say I can't. It really gets under my skin like finger nails scraping a chalkboard. It took every once of my being not to respond to words written by a few where they expressed how they felt that they didn't deserve help because they/their story of victim-hood wasn't as tragic as anothers.

Their words reminded me of my purpose and what I've been doing and studying for the past 20 years. But there is only so much we or anyone can do for another. Healing and wholeness are the responsibility of the individual who seeks it. There are times when we must go at it alone. There is no one there to do the actual work of healing and wholeness for us. But there are people, groups and organizations there to help. You have to be ready for the help. You have to be, as Fannie Lou Hammer and so many of our fore-mothers and fathers say, "Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired." Until we reach that point, until our pain and victimology no longer serves us, positively or negatively...Until we re-write our own stories, NOTHING WILL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER.

We have to believe in something before we can make our lives better. I don't care what you believe in if it inspires and transforms your inner being and empowers you to create and attract the changes you want to see in your life.

If you don't believe you deserve better, speak it until you believe it. Affirm it! Say aloud "I am worthy of all the good that comes my way." Negative things have happened to all of us. We have internalized so much negativity and believe that we are powerless. If you can't see it in the material world, visualize it in your mind. Be determined to be whole.

If you feel unloved, look in the mirror and tell yourself I love U. And then hug yourself. Write letters of comfort to the child in you that was abused. Let him or her know that you are there to protect them now. Play with him or her. Give your inner child all the love he or she needs. Surround yourself with people who support your goal to be whole and healthy. Stay away from "negaholics"- those addicted to their own negativity.

No one has to suffer. You have to know that it is your responsibility to take your healing in your own hands. It does not mean that you don't ask for help. Although some have, you don't have to do it alone.

Talk to someone. Journal. Pray. Be faithfull and know that a change can and will come. Will it be the change you want? Only you can decide. Please remember how blessed your are to be here. Many are not with us any more. Some have lived long lives. Some lives cut short too early for senseless reasons.

You have purpose. Please remember that.

BG's List of Do's and Don'ts

• Be good to yourself
• Control what enters your mind
• Be happy
• Be honest with yourself
• Keep people around you who remind you to be honest with yourself
• Don't judge. You limit your view and experience of and with yourself and others
• Smile
• Play
• Do something nice for someone else
• Never allow stagnation of mind and body...Energy moves. Don't hold it down/back
• Always work on being a newer and improved version of yourself
• Find and be on purpose in Life
• Be present in whatever you do
• Work hard...You get what you give.
  

That's it for now...We might add to this list later.

It's been a while

It seems like it's been way too long since I last blogged. I have been so busy, busy, busy. Time has been going...passing me so fast that I'm not sure what to make of it. Does time seem to be flying by because I'm busy Being and not as aware of the passing moments? My friend commented last week that there seems to some type of time acceleration going on. I can't help but wonder if that is in fact the case and what it means for us. I still haven't had the opportunity to look at one of my new books that might explain the phenomenon.

I've been thinking, well actually dreaming, about people that I've met and gotten to know in varying degrees over the past year and a half. I think a part of me misses them or some aspect of our interaction. People and friendships seem to come and go like phases of the moon. I don't curse the moon for having phases because the moon is consistent in it's phases. So are people. We have our rhythms and movements. I've learned so much even from the briefest of encounters. I'm learning to trust the unique rhythm each relationship has and offers to us. There is always the tendency to want to hold on to some people. Why? I'm not sure because the ones you try to hold on to the hardest seem to elude our grip. Maybe we need to learn to approach relationships from a place of fullness and wholeness. I never realize that I'm not feeling whole until I find myself acting less than whole. I have noticed that I act less than whole when I approach with a posture that I interpret as "they have something for me emotionally that I don't have for myself". Are we aware of what we are getting from others, or what we feel that we need to get from others? My feelings baffle me sometimes. Sometimes I don't make any sense to myself, but I'm okay with that. The best thing that I can do for myself is to not judge it and love it...Love me in all my quirkiness.

Between working hard, resting when I can and sleeping, I've been thinking about parts of myself that I want to work on/with. I really need to increase my level of physical activity. That has to happen really soon. I feel a little thicker. My mom says I look great. She says I look healthy, which she's always happy to see. I did something over the last few weeks that I don't normally do and that's eat Popeye's biscuits. It came with the Naked chicken strip that was really easy to grab between meetings and appointments at work. I feel like the biscuits re-formed inside my belly. My sister-friend would tell me to shut up because I'm not fat. I can feel the difference though. I can be and live healthier. If I wasn't anemic I would fast. That seems to help me refocus my eating habits and tendencies.

I am really feeling the need to write something for parents with daughters. I have been counseling adolescent girls a lot over the last couple of weeks. They are at such an ackward age and stage in life. Not yet women and not quite "girls". Few are being guided during this pivotal time in life. I am very afraid that as they search for the love and attention they once received as little girls they will seek love and acceptance from those who will show them through sex. I'm not sure who told me this...maybe my mentor, but the saying is "Boys/males use love to get sex and girls/females use sex to get love." This rings true. Teens often disengage from family, but only because they are allowed to do so. If there is a young person (male or female) in your life/family, please make a point of checking in with them. Make yourself available for the talks that need to take place. Initiate the talks with them. Raise the subjects that are not so easy to talk about. Don't wait for them.

Okay, I need to chill. Have a good weekend everyone.

The HistoryMakers.com - African American history archive

The HistoryMakers.com - African American history archive

Friday Thoughts

I am back at The Weekend! I have been working my behind off at work this week. I can't believe how hard I'm working. I'm actually surprising myself. I usually have a lot of built in chill time, but that's not the case this week. I've been trying to get most of the work done early so that i am ahead and not pressed for time. There were many nights last year that I stayed up late working on reports because I was majorly distracted. It was all good though. (I like green beans and hot sauce makes them spicy...don't ask. LOL)

I want to start practicing regularly on the drums. I talked with my neighbors on Wednesday and asked them how loud they were, and when is the best time to practice. I want to minimize disturbing them with my noise as much as possible. They have two small children, one of which is not one yet.

I need a good book to read. I have several new books but I can't get into them yet. One is called The Yoga of Time Travel. I have so many books that I haven't read yet. They are all here for a purpose. When the time is right I will have them at my finger tips. Rebecca Walker's Black, White and Jewish was one of those books. I purchased it several years ago. I glanced at it a couple of times, but I wasn't a place where I could read it. A few months ago I cracked it open and couldn't put it down. As I read it I heard her voice, or what my mind imagined that it would sound like, in my head. I don't think I would have appreciated it as much if I had forced myself to read it earlier. I am considering reading it again soon. It's one of those pieces, for me, that shines a light on a part of myself that I didn't know existed. A part of her story is my story and the story of so many others. It's honest. I think that's what I appreciated the most. It made me wanna be even more honest with myself.

I think everyone should tell their story. We ofttimes think that we aren't important if we aren't famous, or if we don't get fame, fortune and public recognition. That can't be farther from the truth. We as a human family have so much more in common than we think. We always feel so different (in a negative way) or odd. I am glad that no one is exactly like me, but I feel so good knowing that many are like me. I have learned that the more I get to know me, the more I challenge myself beyond my status quo, the more i know others. As I get to know my personal ins and outs, My light spaces and dark places, I am less like to judge another. I want love and acceptance for me so I have to offer it to others. I deserve it. We deserve it. I want to have room to be human, to learn, to succeed, to make mistakes, to love and to grow. I want to feel the spirit of another without pretense.

I want to learn myself, see myself, feel myself...the self I never knew before interact with different you's.

I attended an awards ceremony tonight for a loved one who received an award. Little things make a difference. I'm glad that I attended and showed my support. Presence makes a difference. Supporting others makes a difference. I'm glad I recognize that now.

People don't forget to dream. Always have something within yourself that you are working on. Not one of us has "arrive". Be loving toward yourself and watch what you say to yourself and others...you are planting seeds that will grow when watered with thoughts that nourish them.

What do you want to grow in the garden of your mind? Weeds... or SunFlowers that reach and stretch their faces and necks to the Sun? Be blessed because you are!

Wow, it's Wednesday already. I'm over the hump, and tomorrow is Thursday. I feel like I exhale on Thursdays. I've been tired largely due to the fact that I'm working all day without eating lunch. I've been getting in later in the evening and going to bed later. It wouldn't be so bad if I slept later too, but I'm not. We are grinding at work trying to get work done before the end of the school year. Thank God there is an end in sight. That's one thing I love about my job. It ends and then we CHILL HARD in the summer.

I'm feeling less than stimulated these days. I need something to tickle my senses. As usual, I'm learning more and more about me. Thank God for the journey. Iyanla says "Life is an act of Faith. Struggle is optional." It's a beautifull thing to realize that. So often we believe that struggle is the norm. Yes, we will be challenged. There is no way to grow wiser without confronting internal and external challenges. But for some life ain't life if they aren't struggling and barely getting by. A free dome is hard to come by if you don't realize freedom is an option. (This is an aside, but have you ever felt pressured to make a free-will offering at church or somewhere else?)

Anyway, Shine your lights people even if it's only in the house of your mind. Shine your lights!

Pay attention to what is happening with the Millions More Movement. Peep the energy and how it builds. The video from the press conference can be viewed on www.cspan.org This has the potential to be quite transformative for the human family if we focus on the purpose and the personalities. Purpose not personality.

Official Site of the 10th Anniversary Commemoration of The Million Man March

Official Site of the 10th Anniversary Commemoration of The Million Man March

Expectation

The weekend flew by just as fast the as week. I wish that I could have rested a little more esp. yesterday when it was raining. Today the weather was beautifull. I'm counting down the number of days left until the end of the school year. I know the students are too. We have so much work to do. I need to keep scheduling appointments so that I can get finished with these reports. I look forward to having -0-, zero, none, no reports left to schedule or type.

I am looking forward to reading something new and interesting. I am also looking forward to hanging out again soon. My sistah-friend and I went to Jill Scott's booksigning in DC on Friday. We were a little disappointed. But that's on us for expecting anything. It's the first time that we've attended a book signing and the author didn't personalize, write our names in, the book. I thought that was the whole purpose, but I guess it wasn't. What did I learn? There can be a lot of space between our expectations of people, places, and things and what is...the way things actually are.

I've heard and used the statement- You get what you expect. That's not always evident though. Maybe it's because we don't know what we expect and we only register the disappoint. Like we can often say what we don't want, but not what we want. It happens all the time with simple things like -what are we gonna eat? SOmeone suggests something and we say, no, I don't want that. We can't say what we want though. I want to be more aware of what I want and need. It will help me be clearer about what I need to do, where I need to go to get it. Meditation will help me realize what's already there/here. Quiet time is what I can use right now.
Quiet time.
I'm going to bed. Sweet dreams...that's what I expect tonight.