Gifts/The Chosen

Some of us have the "gift". We've been called to preach the gospel...spread the good news... and some of us speak prophetic words from pulpits into microphones....words shouted out, shouted at u piercing your very soul...moans and groans and utterances and songs sung in unison...the speaking in tongues...words not understood but felt...felt deeply by the utterer who knows not what she's saying but knows/feels that she is chosen to deliver the word...more important than the word the experience of being chosen...Some of us heal with our hands, some of us with our eyes...with hands...with hands...with hands....I write and deliver my sermon...with open eyes, ears and heart...I deliver it to you.


I see her voice, her face...why am I called to her? She, me? We've had close encounters across galaxies. We crossed paths in a slave dungeon. Exchanged essences...We became one and she used me. And since then I ask How do I know pain? how am I sensitive to it as an infant, as a child and, surely, as an adult? How is it that I am a healer from the womb? Have I healed before... before..., before arriving? What is her pain to teach me? What is it that she wishes to say through me?

You are an energy being. A composite. A collective...You remember everything in every cell...it has collected...all experience. All time is in you. You are a transmitter...U pick up frequencies. You tune in and broadcast the downloaded matter, information, unique coding through you...your hair, your skin, your eyes, your breath, your speech. Your essence is the drum...It speaks to you. Each pound expands your heart by vibrating, reverberating...resynchronizing with mother earth as she breaths.

Snatched, stolen, taken like a fetus ripped from your own womb before you were ripe...You were more child than woman but more woman than child in your wisdom and spirit and So were you separated from your home, your love, your God, your way, your people, your life. Separated from your life, separated from your life...is that death or just an altered state? and...The scar is deep...deeply felt...deeply buried. Every so often your pain seeks light- birth, seeks release-breath...only your pain/her pain has no name...no name but you exist and... She comes across as resistence, unrest, confusion...She is weariness, sadness and defensive-ness. She is the knot in my chest that prevents me from breathing deeply, fully, wholly, holy...She's speaking to me and I don't know how to interpret her language...the language that has shown itself in my body seeking to feel the light of day...expression.

They very vehicle that I ride with her on is attempting to mask itself as impaired. Holy one, speak to me, through me...I will know you in breath. As I breathe deeply, deeply, deeply...As I clear the static from my mind...it's clear, clear, clear. As we remember, so shall we be. Just breathe clear, and remember.

I shall remember you...one who has chosen me. Speak.

I have drawn the curtains
so that no one can peek in
I have drawn the curtains
so that i can keep me
i have drawn the curtains
because I no longer beckon for an audience
I have drawn the curtains
because what must be done is private
I have drawn the curtain
so that I can cry in peace
I have drawn the curtain
so that the ugly dismantle-ing
cannot be witnessed
I have drawn the curtain
because the peeper never
tells me how pretty I look
I have drawn the curtain
because I want to disconnect
from the virtual reality that
made BG
I have drawn the curtain
to reclaim myself
I have drawn the curtain
because the takers have to
allow me to partake of myself for a change
I have drawn the curtains
to uncover, discover, recover me without
a mask

In Love Again

I realize that I've fallen in love again. And that's not out of the ordinary for me because I feel like I am always falling in love. But it's kind of weird because the object of my affections is an unlikely entity. This thing I have for this entity...it's been building. At first I didn't know how to approach them, this entity. But over time we kept dealing with each other. Seeing each other. Every place I turned this being was there. And I never knew how to deal with it. I never knew how to be with it. I never knew all that it could do for me. And lately when I see them, this entity, I get excited. They're on my mind now. I see them instead of abstract images. This entity makes me wanna use all that it is, all that it has to offer and I don't feel guilty because this being has made itself available to use at my disposal. It was just up to me to figure out what I was comfortable with. How close I wanted to be? What kind of relationship I wanted to have? So much choice I've had in this relationship because this being was fine with whatever I wanted. And so while turning pages it hit me. It was as clear as day. Who this object was and what I wanted... I'm almost ashamed to admit it but... (sigh) here it goes...I shouldn't say...

I'm having a love affair with words, with the shapes of them, the texture of them, the sound of them. And I like what they do for me, and to me. I'm having intercourse with discourse. We are exchanging letters and numbers and sounds. And I tell them to call me later after my eyes fall too droopy and after my fingers get to tired or I've just used them all up. And I imagine that across great distances they, the image of them, that one word as I walk down the street leaps out of me and into the heart of that person because I can't use that word right now, not verbally. So I transmit it, the word, or is it everything contained in that word? The frequency of it. The vibration...and everything that gives it the meaning it has. All of me rides on the back of the words. I dance with words, letters, characters, tones, spoken and written. I put me in them, and like kisses in the wind, I hope they land on u. I hope they sit right, not your way right my way right because it's me that I'm transmitting and I hope you get me. I hope you understand me. And so lately I've been writing an orgy. I'm giving more of me because I like the way it feels to be close to words, making them work for me. I want to be intimate with them. More intimate than I've been. I want to taste them and feel them. And when I share them with the U's, I want you to taste them too. So, I've added texture to them. Layered them with soul and spice. They wanted me to. They wanna enjoy this too. So, I'm snuggling up with them right now hoping to get a little more out of them. Get it on with them to make up for the times when we paid little attention to each other. And they don't mind being used by me. I fall short of pimping them. But they say seeing U happy makes me happy and we know U wanna be whole. They want me to be happy, they want me to be liberated and free. They want me to release myself to dance with them and the stars. And together we heal each other, we free each other and we choose when we meet and when we kiss and we like each other more than the other ever knew before now. See, I've fallen in love with words, with letters that make them, with characters and tones that make sounds and meaning and emotion and me. We work together, we love together and with them I am free to create with everything. They are seeds that bring me sustenance because they carry my messages in bottles floating in the sea except they have purpose. They have a mission and it's not haphazard. They don't co-incide with another incident. We purposefully serve each other, making the other happy. I want to give myself to them because I trust them now. I trust me with them now. I feel safe now with them around. They know they give life and have the power to take life away. I respect their power and I never want to abuse them because I love them and I want them to be with me, work with me, carry me in them that dance with me, always.

Copyright © 2005 Blackgold347

Dream Angels

I"ve had a sequence of dreams over the past few nights that have been pretty interesting. I wanted to continue the dream sequence last night, and I did! I won't go into detail, but the dreams have been most comforting. I felt complete...even since I woke up. I've had the feeling of completion. I wonder, do the personalities present in the dreams represent aspects of myself? That's something to consider.

I made the request last night and I'll do it again, Dream angels please visit me again. I'd love to continue this dream sequence and see/feel where it leads. ;)

Boundaries and Limitations

The only boundaries that exist are the ones we create and acknowledge. There are times when I feel like a wall is in front of me...My thoughts are that wall, my fence, my boundary...It is what ever I believe on that day, in that moment that limits me. Sometimes my body says, "We are tired,BG." I feel it physically...Other times it's my thought pattern, as invisible as it may be, it's force, it's power moves AND disables this mountain, which is me.

PowerFULL we are...I am. Gotta bring the focus back to glorifying the I Am.

Note to self: Faith without works is dead.

In kindergarten, instead of going outside for recess I stayed inside to listen to this song on the little record player. I was content too.

Age Of Aquarius

by 5th dimension, The

album:

When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius
Age of Aquarius 
Aquarius!  Aquarius! 

Harmony and understanding
Sympathy and trust abounding
No more falsehoods or derisions
Golden living dreams of visions
Mystic crystal revelation
And the mind's true liberation
Aquarius!  Aquarius!

When the moon is in the Seventh House
And Jupiter aligns with Mars
Then peace will guide the planets
And love will steer the stars

This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius
Age of Aquarius 
Aquarius!  Aquarius!

Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in
Let the sun shine, Let the sun shine in
The sun shine in

Resistence vs. Acceptance

To go against vs. To go with... Since circumstances change we can't always be one way or the other. Discernment and flexibility are essential life companions. There are some days that I resist the lie and resist the truth. Other days, I accept the lie and accept the truth. What is the truth? What is the lie? U establish that for you, but for goodness sake be honest with you about you. Learning ourselves helps us know others. Or, should I say human nature. None of us are perfect. But we can always become better... Do we accept the truth of who we are, or do we resist it? Do we accept our strengths and weaknesses, or do we resist them?

I read last night that the people we love as well as the people we hate inform us of who we are. We see the best of ourselves (love) and the worst of ourselves (hate) in others. We contain it all...some parts we accept (love) and acknowledge AND other parts we resist (hate/fear). It's all contained in us...why else would we have such extreme reactions to others around us?

When we learn and accept what makes us who we are we can accept the same in others.