Intent, Congruence, Self-Love

Do you ever wonder what the intentions are of people who say mean things or try to provoke others to engage in verbal or physical sparing matches with them? What is it that they want? What is their purpose? What does it mean when they seek you out to antagonize you? Is it the way they've learned to navigate and negotiate their needs and wants?

Some don't want others to get close to them, and they use their mouths, their words to keep others at a distance. Some have not been spoken to respectfully and don't know what it's like to be respected and in turn respect others. Our parents and friends never always agree with us, but most of them have way of talking to us that keeps us knowing that we are loved by them whether we disagree or not. In cyberspace, we don't know each other. Our first impressions are made by the words we type and the energy they carry. While we do learn about people from the words they speak, we do not know them. We don't know of each others baggage.

To seek out another and to continually antagonize them online is offensive to me. Yes, even when it's not being done to me. There is nothing wrong with disagreement. A lot of learning and understanding comes out of disagreement. But when laced with insults nothing can be heard. That applies to any type of dialogue and communication with another. No one learns anything when we argue about who is RIGHT. No one is right or wrong about their opinions.

Do you want to be heard and understood? Or, do you simply want to push the buttons of another and recreate hostile situations you are most familiar and comfortable with? Our conditioning dictates how we interact with others. If you've been called a bag of nothings your whole life you might see that as normal. I was not raised that way. I have never truly known what is like to feel un-loved. Call me spoiled...But that has kept me knowing what I want and don't want in my space and my life. That fact has kept me from lingering in unhealthfull situations. That fact has allowed me to treat others the way I want to be treated...with love and respect. That does not mean that we will always agree. It means that I can disagree with you and both of us walk away we our love and respect for each other and ourselves intact.

What do you want? Is your communication and interaction with others getting you what you say you want? Is it closeness, acceptance? There must be congruence between what you say you want and how you go about getting it. Saying, "I love you, you dumb bastard" is incongruent. That's an extreme example but I'm sure that many have endure hearing "I love you" followed by words or actions that say the total opposite. It gets confusing. And if we don't recognize and acknowledge that it's confusing we start to communicate with others in that way as well. We say we want to be close but do everything to push another away.

Maybe your goal in life is to push others. Well, go find someone who wants to be pushed. Don't criticize me or anyone else because that's not the line we are standing in today.

Many do not love themselves and CANNOT extend that to others. Many do not respect themselves and CANNOT extend that to others. I choose daily whether or not I want to be bare the brunt of another's disrespect. I can do this because I know that I deserve the best of the best treatment. The creator did not make me to be abused. I am here to realize my power, which came from the Creator, and use it to serve that which I believe created me.

Act like the image and likeness you believe you were created in. It's more than just a line in a good book, but only if you believe it and know it to be true for you.