In Love Again

I realize that I've fallen in love again. And that's not out of the ordinary for me because I feel like I am always falling in love. But it's kind of weird because the object of my affections is an unlikely entity. This thing I have for this entity...it's been building. At first I didn't know how to approach them, this entity. But over time we kept dealing with each other. Seeing each other. Every place I turned this being was there. And I never knew how to deal with it. I never knew how to be with it. I never knew all that it could do for me. And lately when I see them, this entity, I get excited. They're on my mind now. I see them instead of abstract images. This entity makes me wanna use all that it is, all that it has to offer and I don't feel guilty because this being has made itself available to use at my disposal. It was just up to me to figure out what I was comfortable with. How close I wanted to be? What kind of relationship I wanted to have? So much choice I've had in this relationship because this being was fine with whatever I wanted. And so while turning pages it hit me. It was as clear as day. Who this object was and what I wanted... I'm almost ashamed to admit it but... (sigh) here it goes...I shouldn't say...

I'm having a love affair with words, with the shapes of them, the texture of them, the sound of them. And I like what they do for me, and to me. I'm having intercourse with discourse. We are exchanging letters and numbers and sounds. And I tell them to call me later after my eyes fall too droopy and after my fingers get to tired or I've just used them all up. And I imagine that across great distances they, the image of them, that one word as I walk down the street leaps out of me and into the heart of that person because I can't use that word right now, not verbally. So I transmit it, the word, or is it everything contained in that word? The frequency of it. The vibration...and everything that gives it the meaning it has. All of me rides on the back of the words. I dance with words, letters, characters, tones, spoken and written. I put me in them, and like kisses in the wind, I hope they land on u. I hope they sit right, not your way right my way right because it's me that I'm transmitting and I hope you get me. I hope you understand me. And so lately I've been writing an orgy. I'm giving more of me because I like the way it feels to be close to words, making them work for me. I want to be intimate with them. More intimate than I've been. I want to taste them and feel them. And when I share them with the U's, I want you to taste them too. So, I've added texture to them. Layered them with soul and spice. They wanted me to. They wanna enjoy this too. So, I'm snuggling up with them right now hoping to get a little more out of them. Get it on with them to make up for the times when we paid little attention to each other. And they don't mind being used by me. I fall short of pimping them. But they say seeing U happy makes me happy and we know U wanna be whole. They want me to be happy, they want me to be liberated and free. They want me to release myself to dance with them and the stars. And together we heal each other, we free each other and we choose when we meet and when we kiss and we like each other more than the other ever knew before now. See, I've fallen in love with words, with letters that make them, with characters and tones that make sounds and meaning and emotion and me. We work together, we love together and with them I am free to create with everything. They are seeds that bring me sustenance because they carry my messages in bottles floating in the sea except they have purpose. They have a mission and it's not haphazard. They don't co-incide with another incident. We purposefully serve each other, making the other happy. I want to give myself to them because I trust them now. I trust me with them now. I feel safe now with them around. They know they give life and have the power to take life away. I respect their power and I never want to abuse them because I love them and I want them to be with me, work with me, carry me in them that dance with me, always.

Copyright © 2005 Blackgold347