Pause
Today is one of those days. If I could press the pause button on time, on the Earth's spin I'd press it today. I need to time catch up to life. I'm moving a little slow and I need a few more seconds, maybe minutes to catch up. There have been a few too many deaths (Luther, David Haines), bombings (Iraq, London, all over the globe)...Flipping channels I see the same news...Dennis, London...The pained look of people looking for their loved ones in London...The feeling I had after September 11th returned. It's like you try not to think about it. But you already heard that it happened and it taps that place that's already sad, already insecure... I know that death is a part of life. My reaction to the latest news, that of David Haines' (radio personality dc area) death, reminds me that I have some more personal grieving and centering to do. Emotionally, I'm spent.
Imagine... the whole world put on pause. Everything still except you! No Death. No birth. No sound except the sound of your own breath, your own voice. Now that would be lonely! Everyone frozen. Nothing moves. Just stillness. Now...what would I do? I'd sleep. I'd take a nap. Exhale deeply 'cause at this very moment I'm a little tired, and a little anxious... it's just the feeling that I can't take, I don't want to take hearing about someone else dying. I don't want to think of the inevitability of my own death. I just want to rest, a peacefull rest...Universe, don't get me wrong! I AM NOT SEEKING ETERNAL REST AT THIS MOMENT. LOL... I'm talking about go upstairs to bed, fall asleep, dream lovely dreams and wake up refreshed, REST! I clarify because we get what we ask for so I want to be clear!
The above reminds me that I've been in "reaction mode". My morning coffee had me going early. The caffeine (just a Starbucks short cup) had me going. I'm switching to tea because it's easier on my nervous system.
Why does peace have to be a dream? Why can't it be the normal state of our lives, our world? For some reason I'm missing Christmas time...everything is more peacefull during the holiday season.
Sometimes we keep moving without process all that has happened. Sometimes we don't want to think of what has happened. Sometimes we to push the feelings to the side so that we can function, get by, get past the hurt. But the hurt doesn't leave because we refuse to acknowledge it. Some part of us remembers it, and it shows up in a dream. It shows up as a reaction. It shows up as illness, an ache, a pain...in the neck, back...where ever.
It just hit me...pause is meditation! Something I've been putting off for some time. You'd think meditation was easier than wishing that the Earth could stop spinning for me, huh?
I had some revealing dreams last night. I remember feeling that the dream was so real and praying in the dream 'God, please let me be dreaming!' And I was...
Imagine... the whole world put on pause. Everything still except you! No Death. No birth. No sound except the sound of your own breath, your own voice. Now that would be lonely! Everyone frozen. Nothing moves. Just stillness. Now...what would I do? I'd sleep. I'd take a nap. Exhale deeply 'cause at this very moment I'm a little tired, and a little anxious... it's just the feeling that I can't take, I don't want to take hearing about someone else dying. I don't want to think of the inevitability of my own death. I just want to rest, a peacefull rest...Universe, don't get me wrong! I AM NOT SEEKING ETERNAL REST AT THIS MOMENT. LOL... I'm talking about go upstairs to bed, fall asleep, dream lovely dreams and wake up refreshed, REST! I clarify because we get what we ask for so I want to be clear!
The above reminds me that I've been in "reaction mode". My morning coffee had me going early. The caffeine (just a Starbucks short cup) had me going. I'm switching to tea because it's easier on my nervous system.
Why does peace have to be a dream? Why can't it be the normal state of our lives, our world? For some reason I'm missing Christmas time...everything is more peacefull during the holiday season.
Sometimes we keep moving without process all that has happened. Sometimes we don't want to think of what has happened. Sometimes we to push the feelings to the side so that we can function, get by, get past the hurt. But the hurt doesn't leave because we refuse to acknowledge it. Some part of us remembers it, and it shows up in a dream. It shows up as a reaction. It shows up as illness, an ache, a pain...in the neck, back...where ever.
It just hit me...pause is meditation! Something I've been putting off for some time. You'd think meditation was easier than wishing that the Earth could stop spinning for me, huh?
I had some revealing dreams last night. I remember feeling that the dream was so real and praying in the dream 'God, please let me be dreaming!' And I was...
posted by Blackgold at 9:24 PM
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