My First Peace

almost new to the world...
I am surrounded
by darkness and sound...vibration.
Connected to U,
I am sustained
all nutrition flows from u to me
I am inspired because you breathe
I am your child unborn,
almost new to the world
but still yours
Or, am I?
Thoughts, sensations
every emotion
broken down
to a chemical structure...
I am love, or endorphins
this good feeling makes me high...
high...
when U are sad I marinate
in the chemical soup that is
that emotion...
Together for 9 months or so
we are literally one and
I don't really know where you end
and I begin
and I start to love me more
than I ever had before
because my job
my task
to facilitate new life is magnificent
I am guide, shepherd
~~~~~

Wow, this is so...dif-fer-ent
These sounds
These people
I'm cold
and these people are looking at me
some smiling
some crying
some just checking me out
and I'm scared
because I'm not warm anymore
I'm scared because I'm not safe
anymore...
And that smell...I know her
she held me, but she's gone
Gosh, I'm tired
and all I can do is think about how
hungry and sleepy and cold I am
where is she?...my peace
Ahhh
Finally...with her again
it feels so nice here
snuggled within and between her arms
when I make noises she comes to me
She makes me warm again
and I feel safe again
Lying on, suckling her breast
I feel FULL again
I'm tired...let me rest
They say all I do is sleep
I hear them talk about me as I drift in and out of my... sleep
So many come to adore me
and every time I make a sound
they rush to my side
~~~
What is this thing that I can't seem to get away from?
Everywhere I go I see it...
and sometimes it hits me in the face
other times I manage to put it in my mouth
but it doesn't stay...it's gone again
She keeps talking to me
singing to me
and when I'm drifting off to sleep
she hums sweet melodies
and I always know her smell...
also sweet
everyday I learn new things
I have these things attached to me
and I've almost figured out
what to do with them
she holds them between lips sometimes
and sometimes she takes off the parts that scratch me
with her teeth...I think that's what she said I was getting
new teeth and early too
when I make extra noises..., she says that
when her rushing to my side doesn't make me quiet
like it used to...
She keeps talking about this thing called a smile
They keep talking to me because I keep doing this thing
with my face, but sometimes my belly aches
and I can't help what my face does,
or what my hands do...
But I can always bring them nearer to me
with my noises
and sometimes when she talks to me
I really try hard to say what she's saying but
it doesn't sound the same but they think its cute
so I keep doing it... trying to say what they say
and sometimes I keep trying to be back, get back at that safe place again
to smell her again
to feel her warmth again
I'm still moved by vibration
and sound
and feeling
but I don't feel the same
I try to figure out
how to do stuff by myself
and while I try to figure it out she's always near
and while I don't know exactly what it is
that tells me this, I feel love.
I mean I know it will take years
to learn what that really means
but I'm not sure if it gets any better than this
and maybe I already know and maybe
everything I seek from this day forward
will be an imitation,
a re-creation of this right here
with her

Copyright © 2005 Blackgold347