Focus

I feel the need to slow down a bit and get focused. Work is a distraction most days. I have such a wonderfull routine of nothingness when I don't have to work. I mean...I don't have anywhere to be, I eat when I'm hungry. I use the restroom when I need to. I don't hold it because it ain't convenient to go. When I'm thirsty, I get a drink of water. You'd think i was a prisoner in a concentration camp...But it's unprofessional to get up while meetings are going on if U are one of the key people that needs to be present. So, I sit and endure. I could be better prepared a bring a cooler of snacks and drinks to my meetings (screenings for special education). I have back to back to back to back to back to back meetings three days out of the week. Believe me...it ain't fun.

Ok, back to focus...I'm a multi-tasker by the fact that I'd like to keep getting a pay check. I juggle things....I manage. It's the nature of the job. Most days, honestly, I feel crazy. I can't remember all the things that need to be done. My organization...well, it's an ongoing struggle. Some have mentioned that maybe I have ADHD. Ok, question...Who the hell likes to pay attention to something they have NO, I mean NO, NONE, zealtch (is that a word) NO interest in? So, ADHD is the inability to to fake an interest in something U have no interest in.

By that definition, I have ADHD tendencies. Today the psychologist and I hit rock bottom and said we didn't care if I child received special education or not. Whatever the parent wants, we said. that's bad...we're supposed to be the gatekeepers. The sad truth is we have no more fight in us.

Focus... what you focus your attention on grows. That's why I need a plan, a workable, optimistic, constructive plan. Unhappiness will grow if i, we cultivate it.

Focus...what are U focusing on? What's growing in the garden of your mind?