Today was a busy day. Telephone calls, faxes, emails, typing...Whew! It felt good though. I earned my keep- thats for sure.

It is a wonderfull sensation...to feel, feeling. I couldn't imagine going through life numb again. Sometimes I don't understand the feelings that show up, but I own them just the same. They, these feelings are mine and I welcome them.

I remember having the feeling as a child that I wanted something all to myself. I wanted all of my mother or father's attention. I wanted my special time. I still feel that way at times. I want MY time. My moment. Call me spoiled. It is often unrealistic to place demands with those who have not committed to offering themselves to us in that way. It's hard to negotiate getting our wants and needs met by others. We have needs but often deny them. We wanna be close to others, but to avoid being rejected we keep others at arms length. I am more inclined these days to take risks with others. Risk being close. Risk getting to know others. Risk them knowing me.

I am spoiled. I like connecting on deeper levels. I can't stand the superficial, although it has it's place. Everyone can't be close. It's definitely shouldn't be expected that others want or can handle the same. There should be flexibility when relating to others. Rigidity can cause a lot of pain. If we can't bend as needed, we're sure to get a few extra bumps and bruises along life's journey. So, I'm going to bend, be flexible and continue to honor myself.