Baby Thoughts
I couldn't help but think about how good it feels to have something else in my life that is more important than me at this time. More important than work and bills and things and injustices in the world. The something else that I'm speaking of is the growing child inside of me. I've already felt a detachment from work. I've noticed a shift in my thinking in terms of what is and isn't important. Right now, that which has the utmost priority in my life is the baby. I protect my stomach whenever anything gets too close to it (including the kitchen counter and bathroom sink). Something is more important than me! I love it!
I guess that will be the case for a while. At the same time, I watched my mother sacrifice everything including herself for us. That's good while we need it. But then there is a time when chidren get older that they need their parents a little less. I don't want my child to be my everything. I don't know if I can articulate clearly what I'm thinking/feeling. I want to find a balance. I don't want to neglect myself, my child or my husband. It's a lot to juggle. I hope I do okay. I hope that I do better than okay. I know that there isn't such a thing as a perfect parent. I just want to get it more right than wrong.
I can say all day long what I will and won't do as a parent, but the reality is there is a lot that I won't have a clue about until after I learned from the experience of having a child. I used to always say 'My child ain't gonna...' or 'I'm not gonna...' That's crap! I don't know what the heck I'm going to do in every situation. I don't know what emotion I will feel, or what's words will come out of my mouth. I might be afraid to correct my child, but I AM the disciplinarian with everybody elses child.
I haven't even met the little personality that is growing inside of me. We might not get along. We might get along perfectly. I do hope and expect for the BEST. I pray that I am a good steward over this child. I am truly honored and blessed that I have been chosen by this little one to guide her/him along this journey.
I guess that will be the case for a while. At the same time, I watched my mother sacrifice everything including herself for us. That's good while we need it. But then there is a time when chidren get older that they need their parents a little less. I don't want my child to be my everything. I don't know if I can articulate clearly what I'm thinking/feeling. I want to find a balance. I don't want to neglect myself, my child or my husband. It's a lot to juggle. I hope I do okay. I hope that I do better than okay. I know that there isn't such a thing as a perfect parent. I just want to get it more right than wrong.
I can say all day long what I will and won't do as a parent, but the reality is there is a lot that I won't have a clue about until after I learned from the experience of having a child. I used to always say 'My child ain't gonna...' or 'I'm not gonna...' That's crap! I don't know what the heck I'm going to do in every situation. I don't know what emotion I will feel, or what's words will come out of my mouth. I might be afraid to correct my child, but I AM the disciplinarian with everybody elses child.
I haven't even met the little personality that is growing inside of me. We might not get along. We might get along perfectly. I do hope and expect for the BEST. I pray that I am a good steward over this child. I am truly honored and blessed that I have been chosen by this little one to guide her/him along this journey.
posted by Blackgold at 11:07 AM
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