Clearing the Way

I've been home feeling not to well over the past two days. I've been listening to my body's need for rest and took the days off from work. This seems to happen every year during shift from summer to fall. This morning I thought, "why don't I just take a week off from work a week or two after we turn our clocks back?" Emotionally and physically for me, the shift in seasons from summer to fall is like an object like the space shuttle entering earth's atmosphere from out of space. The impact that is has on me year after year...my gosh...you'd think I would have figured something out by now. While it has gotten better over the years, it's challenging when I'm not doing what I now know I need to do to take extra care of myself. This time of year requires that I put faith into action like no other time of year. It requires that I create the garden, the optimal environment that I need to live and grow. As the clock turns back, I turn inward. Everything goes inside/within or appears to hide. I miss my sun since the days are shorter.

Everything that I need to do for myself, my spirit...It's all do-able. It is!. I just need to make sure that I do it. Being response-able...responsible...

It's so easy to be irresponsible...un-response-able...doing no thing, or doing the response that isn't called for to remedy/take care of the real need...the thing or aspect of our lives that really needs the attention.

A part of my dis-ease lately has been feeling dissatisfied with my j.o.b.. My nine to five. The nature of the job totally works against what I need during this season of transition. I need roots at this time. I need grounding, but my j.o.b. requires a lot of movement and transition. A lot of shifting mental gears and literally switching between three locations, three cultures, three schools... Each one very different from the other. I'm constantly shifting, and the pace during this time of year leaves me unsettled, which is not what I need at all.

(the sun light is blasting through the window as I type...it feels so good!)

I often delude myself into thinking that things will fall apart if I'm not multi-tasking, and running around like a crazy person. There are so many people who come to me for something. There sheer anticipation of their requests makes me nervous inside. Sometimes I want to hide out and avoid them, but that makes me more anxious. I know that this behavior is rooted in erroneous thinking. Believing that I am not doing a good job. It's hard to constantly give your all at something and rarely feel gratified by what you do. My 9-5 is like this for me, and I desperately need to fix/change it. It's just not working for me anymore. And I know it beyond a shadow of a doubt. I know that the universe provides. I expect it to respond to the seeds I am sowing. I want to be ready for the harvest. I need to be ready. I will be ready. (Affirmation- I am ready.)

I believe that my physical congestion is related to my emotional and spiritual congestion. I haven't been writing and releasing energies the way that I have in the past. The honest flow of emotion is essential to my existence.

This post is an attempt to clear the congestion. It's an attempt to clear the way for what is to come. It's an attempt to make room for the harvest, and confirm that it is in deed coming.
Thanksgiving follows...