Sunday Morning Ramblings
I lost all that I typed in a new post a few minutes ago. I guess it wasn't meant to be posted, hmmm? I was writing about snow...we are expecting our first measure snow of the winter. I love snow because it sometimes gets me days off from work. That's what I enjoy about working in the school system.
I was also writing about friendship and relationships. I've learned that the title of friend should not easily be bestowed upon everyone. Some times it takes a long time for friendship to develop. I think in the past I called some "friend" because I didn't know what else to call the person. They weren't enemies. There was no bad blood between us. I see it all the time in the elementary school aged children. Everybody in the school is their friend. A parent once asked her son "how many friends do you have?" He said 27. That was the number of students in his class. This student was on the autism spectrum. Social interations aren't easily navigated by persons with autism. It doesn't mean that there is totally no interest in social interactions, but they are difficult.
There are many adults who have difficulty managing interactions with others. Don't worry...I'm not suggesting that anyone who has difficulty with social interactions is autistic or on the spectrum. I'm just thinking about how I and others navigate the social terrain...relationships. I feel that most interactions are need based. We do things because it benefits us in some way. it meets some type of need for us. I think that's normal and natural. For some the relationship/friendship lasts as long as the need lasts. I definitely know what it's like to grow out of friendships and relationships. But why do some last even when we've grown beyond the thing that initially brought the individuals together? I've learned that acceptance and commitment are necessary components of relationships. Each individual has the free will to determine what they accept and commit to. That should never be abdicated to another. Free will is a gift that should be cherished. People come and go in and out of our lives. We often fear when people move away physically or emotionally because we think that that means the end of what is/what was...forever. There are some that I will love forever, and I haven't spoken to them in years. There are some who I will remain close and connected to despite months going by between our interactions.
I've learned a lot from my husband's friendships that have lasted over 30 years. They've all grown up, moved away from each other physically, but maintain a bond. They've had some periods of significant emotional distance but they remained close all of this time. They've confronted each other with the others stuff. They've been honest with each other. When disappointed because one let the other down, they talk about it. They have made soul connections. There is nothing to fear with soul connections. They are destined to be what they are. Soul connections are re-connections. They last over and between lifetimes.
I don't have to force soul connections. Usually I am trying to cognitively understand what the soul already knows. I've learned to sit back and injoy the ride of recollecting...re-collecting memory.
I've had a few interactions that I've tried to force to be what "I" wanted them to be. I never felt comfortable in those interactions. I don't really know why I felt I needed to be connected with those persons. Maybe it was to satisfy the ego. Like the association with that person made me better in some way. That was a crock... There is one person with whom I thought friendship was developing with but that was not the case. I and others served as an amusement park for her social thrills. I think I was caught up in connecting with someone who appeared to be on the same wave length. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt...talk is cheap went is not congruent with a persons actions. Consistency...
They say people show up for "a reason, a season, or a lifetime". I don't want to control the outcomes of my relationships in the sense that I'm trying to force a friendship. I want them to be what they are. If I work towards anything, I want to work to maintain integrity with people. I want to work to treat others as I want to be treated. There is a specific situation that I am thinking about right now... It's getting easier and easier to move on beyond it. I am sure that I will once the ego gets in check. I must first understand why I wanted it so much. Why was I disappointed when I knew what I was dealing with? I was never really comfortable around the person. So why? I don't have the answer now.
I've learned that I don't have to work that hard to be someones friends. When you are open, someone shows up when you least expect it...and it's easy to interact and connect. It's not like negotiating world peace! It flows. It's natural. It's mutual. It's fullfilling. It's dynamic. It's refreshing.
I love learning about me as I get to know others. I love the exchange. I love the give and take. I love the mutuality. I love that free will reigns. I love that life doesn't to be lived from a place of fear or desperation. I love being response-able to the people I love and care about. I love that they have expectations for me. I love the dialogue. I love the sharing that takes place even when words aren't enough.
I cherish my few regular everyday special people that have earned the position and status of friend in my life. I honor my souls connections. It's wonderfull to be open to experience all that life has for us. I'm so thankfull that I can be a participant, actor, director in my own life's drama, comedy, action and suspense filled life. I love the mystery of spirit. I love the that I am a new-aged, ancient one. I love reconnecting fellow new-aged, ancient ones.
If you do nothing else today, Take a chance. Live. Love. Be present. Call, write, email a friend and let them know that you were thinking of them. There is too much selfishness amongst us. Energy should flow freely. Pay attention to the blocks...the congestion...the stagnancy. Our exchanges shold uplift us. Not bring us down and make us feel crummy. Work to remove blocks. Work to improve the flow. Talk is cheap. Your body, your gut knows. If you ever want to know the truth do a gut check and listen to what it says. Is this person healthy for me? Listen to the answer.
Don't be best supporting actress in another's life movie and not be nominated for any "best" role in your own life movie. Some thrive off of being in the spot light and having all eyes and attentions on them. They set the stage of their lives the way they need it. Decide if you want to be in their play. Choose wisely. Our relationships should honor us. Make it so!
Blessed
I was also writing about friendship and relationships. I've learned that the title of friend should not easily be bestowed upon everyone. Some times it takes a long time for friendship to develop. I think in the past I called some "friend" because I didn't know what else to call the person. They weren't enemies. There was no bad blood between us. I see it all the time in the elementary school aged children. Everybody in the school is their friend. A parent once asked her son "how many friends do you have?" He said 27. That was the number of students in his class. This student was on the autism spectrum. Social interations aren't easily navigated by persons with autism. It doesn't mean that there is totally no interest in social interactions, but they are difficult.
There are many adults who have difficulty managing interactions with others. Don't worry...I'm not suggesting that anyone who has difficulty with social interactions is autistic or on the spectrum. I'm just thinking about how I and others navigate the social terrain...relationships. I feel that most interactions are need based. We do things because it benefits us in some way. it meets some type of need for us. I think that's normal and natural. For some the relationship/friendship lasts as long as the need lasts. I definitely know what it's like to grow out of friendships and relationships. But why do some last even when we've grown beyond the thing that initially brought the individuals together? I've learned that acceptance and commitment are necessary components of relationships. Each individual has the free will to determine what they accept and commit to. That should never be abdicated to another. Free will is a gift that should be cherished. People come and go in and out of our lives. We often fear when people move away physically or emotionally because we think that that means the end of what is/what was...forever. There are some that I will love forever, and I haven't spoken to them in years. There are some who I will remain close and connected to despite months going by between our interactions.
I've learned a lot from my husband's friendships that have lasted over 30 years. They've all grown up, moved away from each other physically, but maintain a bond. They've had some periods of significant emotional distance but they remained close all of this time. They've confronted each other with the others stuff. They've been honest with each other. When disappointed because one let the other down, they talk about it. They have made soul connections. There is nothing to fear with soul connections. They are destined to be what they are. Soul connections are re-connections. They last over and between lifetimes.
I don't have to force soul connections. Usually I am trying to cognitively understand what the soul already knows. I've learned to sit back and injoy the ride of recollecting...re-collecting memory.
I've had a few interactions that I've tried to force to be what "I" wanted them to be. I never felt comfortable in those interactions. I don't really know why I felt I needed to be connected with those persons. Maybe it was to satisfy the ego. Like the association with that person made me better in some way. That was a crock... There is one person with whom I thought friendship was developing with but that was not the case. I and others served as an amusement park for her social thrills. I think I was caught up in connecting with someone who appeared to be on the same wave length. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt...talk is cheap went is not congruent with a persons actions. Consistency...
They say people show up for "a reason, a season, or a lifetime". I don't want to control the outcomes of my relationships in the sense that I'm trying to force a friendship. I want them to be what they are. If I work towards anything, I want to work to maintain integrity with people. I want to work to treat others as I want to be treated. There is a specific situation that I am thinking about right now... It's getting easier and easier to move on beyond it. I am sure that I will once the ego gets in check. I must first understand why I wanted it so much. Why was I disappointed when I knew what I was dealing with? I was never really comfortable around the person. So why? I don't have the answer now.
I've learned that I don't have to work that hard to be someones friends. When you are open, someone shows up when you least expect it...and it's easy to interact and connect. It's not like negotiating world peace! It flows. It's natural. It's mutual. It's fullfilling. It's dynamic. It's refreshing.
I love learning about me as I get to know others. I love the exchange. I love the give and take. I love the mutuality. I love that free will reigns. I love that life doesn't to be lived from a place of fear or desperation. I love being response-able to the people I love and care about. I love that they have expectations for me. I love the dialogue. I love the sharing that takes place even when words aren't enough.
I cherish my few regular everyday special people that have earned the position and status of friend in my life. I honor my souls connections. It's wonderfull to be open to experience all that life has for us. I'm so thankfull that I can be a participant, actor, director in my own life's drama, comedy, action and suspense filled life. I love the mystery of spirit. I love the that I am a new-aged, ancient one. I love reconnecting fellow new-aged, ancient ones.
If you do nothing else today, Take a chance. Live. Love. Be present. Call, write, email a friend and let them know that you were thinking of them. There is too much selfishness amongst us. Energy should flow freely. Pay attention to the blocks...the congestion...the stagnancy. Our exchanges shold uplift us. Not bring us down and make us feel crummy. Work to remove blocks. Work to improve the flow. Talk is cheap. Your body, your gut knows. If you ever want to know the truth do a gut check and listen to what it says. Is this person healthy for me? Listen to the answer.
Don't be best supporting actress in another's life movie and not be nominated for any "best" role in your own life movie. Some thrive off of being in the spot light and having all eyes and attentions on them. They set the stage of their lives the way they need it. Decide if you want to be in their play. Choose wisely. Our relationships should honor us. Make it so!
Blessed
posted by Blackgold at 10:10 AM
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