Debriefing
I'm frustrated. I sat in meetings today from 8:10am to 2:45pm. I had a little break to pee. No lunch. and a homevisit afterwards at 3pm. I get back to my office and I see the psychologist I work with at one of my schools. She complains for a minute or two and says oh, yeah...they're going to get on your case for not having these to reports done. I say they aren't due for a month. She says so...they don't care. My frustration grows and I'm a little anxious at that point because I'm thinking of what my response will be to them if they bring that up to me.
I want to say F--- U! to them. But I have to be professional. and I think of all of the things that are not right at that school. How disorganized things are...How they don't know what's supposed to be done and they don't care because they don't know...Ignorance is Bliss! But I know and I get super stressed and I try to find a way to let it go, because it hasn't been said to me. Someone said someone was going to say...and my blood has already started to boil because I think about all the problems. And now I am home trying to release it...trying to find a way to enjoy not being at work physically but being at work mentally. And I want to relax. So, I'm going to type this and really release it and really let it go. Nobody's life is at risk. Everything is okay. I am going to exhale this out...breathe and ask God, ask my higher self what's my next move when it comes to earning money to pay my mortgage. I want more than a job. I have one of those. I want to enjoy what I do and right now...I DON'T.
I deserve to be happy at work. I deserve to have and do gratifying work. I deserve it. I have to make it happen.
I ask the ancestors for guidance.
I want to say F--- U! to them. But I have to be professional. and I think of all of the things that are not right at that school. How disorganized things are...How they don't know what's supposed to be done and they don't care because they don't know...Ignorance is Bliss! But I know and I get super stressed and I try to find a way to let it go, because it hasn't been said to me. Someone said someone was going to say...and my blood has already started to boil because I think about all the problems. And now I am home trying to release it...trying to find a way to enjoy not being at work physically but being at work mentally. And I want to relax. So, I'm going to type this and really release it and really let it go. Nobody's life is at risk. Everything is okay. I am going to exhale this out...breathe and ask God, ask my higher self what's my next move when it comes to earning money to pay my mortgage. I want more than a job. I have one of those. I want to enjoy what I do and right now...I DON'T.
I deserve to be happy at work. I deserve to have and do gratifying work. I deserve it. I have to make it happen.
I ask the ancestors for guidance.
posted by Blackgold at 5:53 PM
1 Comments:
Hi Nancy! I'm glad the energy dynamic has changed.
Today was a good day for me at work! I have not sent Reiki to the job yet. My thoughts and silent prayers have definitely contained a lot of positive energy after I changed perspectives.
While driving to work today I realized that I had gotten caught up in the psychologist's stuff. I realized that I had reacted to what she said someone said. That someone may not have even said it for all I knew. I just took it and ran with it because I was already feeling frustrated. I realized that I did not know the agenda of the psychologist, whether she was conscious of an agenda or not. I decided to pull my energy back and not get caught up in her battles and difficulties. I realized that if someone had a problem that was important enough to share with me, they would share it with me.
Also, I thought of Nelson Mandela, who was in prison for 26 years. If he could do that and keep his sanity, I could give a few hours of my time, attention and elbow grease to a school system that paid me well to do it. I realized that this is a situation of mind over matter. My approach to these situations, to my job, to adversity dictates the type of experience I will have. I will have challenges where ever I am employed. I thought about changing professions, but why should I? social work is MY profession. I chose it for a purpose and reason- AND- I am good at it. The school system has great perks that I enjoy. I don't want my ungroundedness (is that a word? LOL) to keep me off track and unfocused and unhappy.
I had a good day at work today. No one mentioned anything about the reports. When I reflected on the situation yesterday, I felt like someone in a Shakespearean tragedy. X plants the seed and Y's head and Y kills Z because X pit Y against Z. I thought this is crazy. Relax and be present in your day. I was and it was a good day!
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