John Ridley: The Guide to the Conservative Palinguage Vol.2 -- the People's Edition

John Ridley: The Guide to the Conservative Palinguage Vol.2 -- the People's Edition: "If you give your wife a dap on stage, it's actually a 'terrorist fist jab.' If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down your youngest child's hair on national TV it's an 'adorable moment.' (Seriously, forget about abstinence only, teach these folks some grooming skills)."